The intricacies of high finance have always been somewhat of a mystery to me, but PACS I understand. I have had great difficulty, as you know, in grasping the business aspect of Merge’s attempt to purchase AMICAS, and why Morgan Stanley would finance such an effort. In essence, how could a smaller company engulf something so much larger? The answer, of course, is people. Morgan Stanley had faith in the abilities of Mr. Ferro and Mr. Dearborn to make good on their investment, or at least to pay back the $250 Million loan before going belly-up. The answer, is people. . .
So, it occurred to me that there ought to be another path, another way to invest Morgan Stanley’s money more optimally. Speaking acronymically, WWWBD? (What Would Warren Buffett Do?) He finds the best companies of a particular genre, buys them, and puts them under the Berkshire Hathaway umbrella, leaving said company largely intact, and keeping the management and so forth more or less the same. But since Morgan Stanley is impressed with people, I felt we needed to give them something or someone, to be impressed with.
Deviating slightly from Buffettism, I conferred with my good friend Mike Cannavo, the One and Only PACSMan. Who, I asked him, is better known in the world of PACS than the PACSMan and Doctor Dalai? He had no direct response, although I could hear him mutter under his breath, “I’m more famous than you!” Be that as it may.
And so began a long, arduous web of phone calls to Morgan Stanley and other financial institutions, as well as to old friends, colleagues, and customers. Mike and I could not, of course, come up with $250 Million in collateral, or even $250,000, for that matter, but between his good looks, and my reputation (or was that the other way around?) we were able to collect about $395. Fortunately, physicians aren’t known for their financial savvy, and apparently neither are banks or investment houses, because Morgan Stanley, based on our history and understanding of the field, revoked the loan to Merge, and gave it to us instead. I am now in hock for more money than I ever thought possible, more than the GDP of most small to moderate-sized nations. But it’s for a good cause. We are in the process of purchasing AMICAS stock for $6.06125 per share, and we should own the whole kit and caboodle by Sunday.
We plan only one major change. The name AMICAS has to go. It was an acronym for something, but I can’t remember what, and it doesn’t matter anyway. In honor of our new partnership, I have combined Mike’s name (Michael CANNavo) with my own nom de plume (nom de keyboard?) (DOctor DaLaI) to yield CANNOLI PACS. Has kind of a nice, tasty ring to it, yes? The corporate logo is, obviously, a cannoli, although this has been modernized and constructed of Bucky-balls.
Welcome to the future of PACS! Many thanks to our supporters in this venture. With your help and prayers, and the occasional cosigning of a loan, I’m sure we’ll succeed. And, as always, before you invest, do check the date of publication of posts like this one.